Mutations from the world of skateboarding
Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2025 10:04 am
Throughout the history of the skateboarding industry , various and strange companies have emerged that have tried to ride the wave of success and popularity of the sport. These delusional companies have tried to market and persuade the loyal skater audience to purchase the products and even convert their religion to the new religion that the product represents.
In this short article, I have collected for you a collection of ridiculous products that have tried to penetrate the market over the years without success... When they were first revealed to the average skater audience, these products became a bad joke that managed to raise eyebrows and the entire experiment with them began and ended with "Brother, bring a spin"...
Skatebike
What were they thinking? "Let's make half a bicycle email data half a skateboard and then throw it in the warehouse, let it rust, pollute the world and disappear the glaciers from under the polar bears in Antarctica?" It's unbelievable, I personally even rode something like this once, it's like a unicycle with an upside-down penis... (hahaha), it's terrible, just stupid and completely impractical... You can't ride it fast, so it's not a vehicle, you can't do tricks with it because it's cumbersome, so it's not fun... What is it? And the brakes (there is such a thing) are in the seat(!!!)... Jeez fuck!
skateboard
Come on, Zoom Zoom, do you think I
'll ride this thing?
Advertisement from the 1980s, avoid breaking the
nakeboard
screen I have to admit that the idea is nice...
After all, we are all snakes with two legs and to move forward we shake our pelvis like a belly dancer playing a hula hoop... It's not clear, you see it once, get lost, smile and then say "Okay and..."
and... nothing. It's just driving on a flat surface straight until the cartilage in the joints of the pelvis runs out and then you die.
Put your foot here and start biting
FlowBoard
Again, a nice idea, a bit of a misnomer, it doesn't pretend to be a replacement for a skateboard but it has the snowboarding aspect, in motion anyway. Basically it looks like a genetic error, or a factory manufacturing error.
Like, come on, how do you do a crooked grind with this thing or even a fifty, it looks like the hoops of a curtain without the curtain.
I got to ride this thing when I was in Europe once and it's very comfortable, the board itself is bigger too but apart from the "brother, bring a ride" rule I wouldn't spend a penny on it.
Of all the mutations, I have the greatest respect for this tool, it is insanely fast and its purpose is solely to copy the feeling of a snowboard, it is not for exercises and if I were to buy something for the crazy experience it would be this.
Pay attention to the middle wheel that allows you to ride on the side.
is actually a successful product in Israel, a sign of aggressive marketing and curiosity among the consumer audience.
When I got on it, I noticed that all my years on a skateboard had changed nothing, and my lack of balance proved that this thing was extremely tricky and especially challenging... Even before I got on it, I had to get over the barrier of shame of even trying... It looks like an unfinished toy and feels like the most treacherous thing there is, but once you understand the matter and start riding, you don't hesitate and throw this thing in the cupboard and go back to riding on your skates with total denial that you even tried...
In this short article, I have collected for you a collection of ridiculous products that have tried to penetrate the market over the years without success... When they were first revealed to the average skater audience, these products became a bad joke that managed to raise eyebrows and the entire experiment with them began and ended with "Brother, bring a spin"...
Skatebike
What were they thinking? "Let's make half a bicycle email data half a skateboard and then throw it in the warehouse, let it rust, pollute the world and disappear the glaciers from under the polar bears in Antarctica?" It's unbelievable, I personally even rode something like this once, it's like a unicycle with an upside-down penis... (hahaha), it's terrible, just stupid and completely impractical... You can't ride it fast, so it's not a vehicle, you can't do tricks with it because it's cumbersome, so it's not fun... What is it? And the brakes (there is such a thing) are in the seat(!!!)... Jeez fuck!
skateboard
Come on, Zoom Zoom, do you think I
'll ride this thing?
Advertisement from the 1980s, avoid breaking the
nakeboard
screen I have to admit that the idea is nice...
After all, we are all snakes with two legs and to move forward we shake our pelvis like a belly dancer playing a hula hoop... It's not clear, you see it once, get lost, smile and then say "Okay and..."
and... nothing. It's just driving on a flat surface straight until the cartilage in the joints of the pelvis runs out and then you die.
Put your foot here and start biting
FlowBoard
Again, a nice idea, a bit of a misnomer, it doesn't pretend to be a replacement for a skateboard but it has the snowboarding aspect, in motion anyway. Basically it looks like a genetic error, or a factory manufacturing error.
Like, come on, how do you do a crooked grind with this thing or even a fifty, it looks like the hoops of a curtain without the curtain.
I got to ride this thing when I was in Europe once and it's very comfortable, the board itself is bigger too but apart from the "brother, bring a ride" rule I wouldn't spend a penny on it.
Of all the mutations, I have the greatest respect for this tool, it is insanely fast and its purpose is solely to copy the feeling of a snowboard, it is not for exercises and if I were to buy something for the crazy experience it would be this.
Pay attention to the middle wheel that allows you to ride on the side.
is actually a successful product in Israel, a sign of aggressive marketing and curiosity among the consumer audience.
When I got on it, I noticed that all my years on a skateboard had changed nothing, and my lack of balance proved that this thing was extremely tricky and especially challenging... Even before I got on it, I had to get over the barrier of shame of even trying... It looks like an unfinished toy and feels like the most treacherous thing there is, but once you understand the matter and start riding, you don't hesitate and throw this thing in the cupboard and go back to riding on your skates with total denial that you even tried...